It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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