Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.

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  (917): Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed. http://tfl.nu/8c7h
  Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (2920)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you want to re-phrase that?

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  (857): I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner (617): you want to re-phrase that? http://tfl.nu/lax1
  Replies (11) Good night (3933) Bad night (989)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.

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  (623): Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough. http://tfl.nu/yln2
  Replies (120) Good night (8193) Bad night (1241)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Not even the dog will look at me anymore.

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  (301): Not even the dog will look at me anymore. http://tfl.nu/6y6q
  Replies (15) Good night (1107) Bad night (4548)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall

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  (313): remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall http://tfl.nu/brex
  Replies (11) Good night (4399) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle

  (648): View more from

  Since when is drunk an angle?

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  (319): He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle (648): Since when is drunk an angle? http://tfl.nu/dhcr
  Replies (12) Good night (7295) Bad night (968)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.

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  (204): For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video. http://tfl.nu/6mdy
  Replies (6) Good night (3130) Bad night (1392)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?

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  (904): Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already? http://tfl.nu/3n3w
  Replies (6) Good night (1765) Bad night (579)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point

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  (205): I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point http://tfl.nu/73b4
  Replies (15) Good night (722) Bad night (2315)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u

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  (727): all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u http://tfl.nu/6pt8
  Replies (3) Good night (574) Bad night (1345)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Am I going to be on condom boxes?

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  (803): You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time. (1-803): Am I going to be on condom boxes? http://tfl.nu/pwx5
  Replies (3) Good night (2335) Bad night (503)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.

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  (330): Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together. http://tfl.nu/j4c1
  Replies (11) Good night (1497) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week

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  (636): A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week http://tfl.nu/594f
  Replies (1) Good night (903) Bad night (442)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.

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  (970): Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way. http://tfl.nu/gitq
  Replies (0) Good night (340) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange

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  (417): Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange http://tfl.nu/684a
  Replies (5) Good night (531) Bad night (269)

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