omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If its not for food we ain't going out.