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• (773): View more from Illinois

  he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.

  Fav 19 3426 1014

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.

  Fav 20 1535 8871

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• (916): View more from California

  i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...

  Fav 50 8159 1205

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (862): View more from New Jersey

  found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.

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• (949): View more from California

  he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (510): View more from California

  There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.

  (1-912): View more from Georgia

  How did you come to this point in your life?

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Good bartenders.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.

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