You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...