And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
