whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
