the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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