yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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