Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
