i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
