Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think a kid would responsible me up
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
