I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
