At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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