Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
