when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
