kristin has been a bad kristin
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
