is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
