never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
