The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
