my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
