even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize