why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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