We got so high we made milksteak
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
