She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
