Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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