so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i think i have herpe
just one?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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