I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
