Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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