Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
