The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
