I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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