Yo dont text me then not text me
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
This house was built for laser tag.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
