Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize