he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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