that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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