No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
