literally had 100 drinks last night.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize