The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Barsexuality is the new black.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
