...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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