shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You pole danced in your parka.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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