she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
