ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
