brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
