I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i already hear my dad disowning me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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