"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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