Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
