with your own penis?
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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