you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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