pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize