i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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