Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
