dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
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we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
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You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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