in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
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basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
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HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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