can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
