I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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