You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
