ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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