these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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