you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Pooping to opera.
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